My Tryst With Nothingness...

Nothing happened today. Probably that is what actually happens in the out and out mundane reality of our daily routine...a magnificent NOTHING!!!

Lazy days often tend to get vicious. It drags you down to those muddy lanes that u would otherwise love to avoid. I tried. Really!! But today I couldn't. Sitting idle and leafing through Collection of Harold Pinter's Plays I kept thinking what I got since I had a tryst with this wonder machine --computer...
A whole new world has opened up no doubt. A book worm that I used to be, tried something new...shuffling through project works and critics' comments clicking on the internet links. But that has made me all the more lazy...I usually spent my afternoons at the R.K.M library or BCL....and those countless cigarettes and pot full teas....often that provided me a good excuse to sneak out with Paramita!!!.....I didn't say about her till then at home!!! How I miss them...lolzzz
I really cannot don enough courage to smoke at home. Also have developed eye infection with my eyes fixed on the screen for so long....

well....this is an obvious change,...but the biggest one i think lies elsewhere......
well I'm blogging.....so getting a bit social i suppose???
To be frank, nothing can match the change it has occurred to me as a social being!!!
It has brought out the other 'me'. I used to be the shy, introvert guy, who would rarely mix. Had a very close group of friends...and everything with them. My world revolved around them only....they were my life....until this ORKUT happened to me!!

Friends after friends...so many people....so many types.....so many dreams.....its a feast. In no time I became a complete addict. Joining communities...chatting....making new fiends....new hopes......and in the process I have learnt a completely new definition of friendship. Really don't know wrong or right....never thought whether good or bad.....but sure I loved making friends....and as I always do....went on doing till I went overboard.
I was just so silly.... never realized what is possible and what is not...never bothered the fact its reality and it will take the reverse turn invariably.....n I'll fail miserably...
I searched for some long long lost relation. Thought I got that. Loved that. Cherished that. And lost......I failed...my fault....couldn't realize that what was for me somewhat reliving my past....and re-loving those memories, that once I loved so dearly....may just be a liability for another!!! Expected too much attention from someone...who even the other day would have been a stranger...never thought of his obligations...or that he may have his own priories. He has every right to do so.....I was on my fantasy spree. Substituted my real identity with the virtual one and in that make belief reality I was only meandering blind alleys till I realized that I was entrapped in an abyss of magnificent nothingness. I usurped reality. I neglected those who probably had waited for me while I was on my fantasy ordeal. And I was punished. No, I am not a victim. I was only made aware that my world, my identity lies elsewhere. I love my friends. really I do. But i think, I also need to prioritize...at least a bit...as once someone said....I cannot balance all, all are not under my control ... even if I can, I cannot make everyone happy. So better make myself happy...what say? A happy me will automatically cheer up my friends. And those who will still remain gloomy?....well they probably were not my friends at all!!! Yet i'll love them...I cannot help....!