then.....its shameful to have this disclaimer when I'm profess myself to be sympathizer for their cause....I still carry the stigma lest I'm identified with them to.....well I have to use "they" too.....
Things will definitely change I guess with the Delhi High court declaring same-sex physical attraction not a crime any more...a long battle of 8-9 years partly won I would say.
Thing are never that easy.
Actually...to say the truth I was tremendously apathetic towards gays and lesbians...even a thought would give me a revulsion. But, as always a thing I detest happens with me.....I had to study a lot about them while helping a teacher of mine in his project. In due course, though I should not claim a complete, but obviously I have come to understand a bit of their problems....what a troubled life and alienated existence they have to face...everyday, every moment, inside the family or outside of it. Its killing.
I feel like citing a few of my experiences.....err.....interviews to be STRAIGHT.......as I said...I met a number of people from the community and their stories were related while preparing the project.
Joy ( name changed) hails from Rashbehari.....in his mid-30s....works at an MNC....sector 5. I met him via net...Orkut....met him over coffee at the nearest junction and had a good chat...he is a closeted gay......he has his father and the society to fight...and he is completely okay with his orientation...though can never even think of coming out open with it as that may sound the knell for him....the society, parents, family....poor guy....he needs a place even to exist....even if that comes with crunching a bit of his space.
Dr. Mukherjee ( name I will not mention )....an eye specialist, associated with some of the few leading Hospitals across Kolkata....from Behala Chowrasta.....he invited me to his home....a married guy with such cute baby boy......we had a bit conversation.....atmosphere was not conducive....even then what I could get from him....he was regular into gay sex with various others like him.....he has a flat somewhere in Kolkata and that serves his purpose.....
"aren't you cheating....your wife and your son...????" I asked...
"wasn't I cheated?" pat came the reply......I was simple dumbstruck.....if he was allowed to go on his way situations like this could have been avoided.....I didn't have the guts to ask about the 'normalcy' of his marital conjugal life....hope all's well.....but then......who has benefited after all?
Almost similar were the cases with the lesbians....I came across a girl.....preparing for her 12th standard....in a reputed girls school in South Kolkata.......she openly professes her love for her class mate....the school has complained a number of times to the families of both the girls...but they stand firm....even the families seemed coming to terms...though I really could not fathom the amount of social harassment and taunts the whole family would have to go through.
What I feel is...this new law will at least give these helpless people to have a shield...though coming out open will definitely take a long time....yet somewhere the starting point has to be.....and this historical decision can definitely be hailed so.
The problems that I thought exists.....as they a criminalized....the relation only tends to draw towards physical encounter....emotional space is deliberately left out......they for quite understandable reasons don't bother to get into commitment...knowing very well that the relation will be doomed in no time.
Poor these people.....firstly...who has even conceptualized the "others" as straight or normal I don't know...as these people whom I met were neither abnormal or crooked.....and they surely have the right to profess their love as we do have the same for our girlfriends...I mean.....who can know what nature had in mind?....when the same has created both?.....the heteros have no right I think to label them in any way just to give their own positions a social stability....what if they turn out to be majority?.....
great applause for Delhi HC....at least it has showed the guts to run down the veil of hypocrisy that the Indian culture wears in the name of purity.....my heartiest congratulations.
