Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Lend a Healing Touch



Situations often becomes killing. These days I am going through the extremely disgusting phase....nothing seems alright....nothing falling in to place. Not that I am suffering...but somehow am not feeling good.....remaining disturbed
How long can a thing stretch as to make a hell out of living? I simply eradicated everything out of my space and was well contended in my own way. I yearned....for a revival...for some what a re connection to take place...and when that has happened I have lost peace completely again
Enough of it.
I never wanted to be anywhere between anyone. Never I aspired to be there anywhere around them. Never....I swear. I know what I did.....How happy I was to think that a streak of light has come and all will be same. But after today's meeting...I am completely disgruntled. I never wanted this to happen....they are best of friends.....when things seem to get okay with me, they cannot part.......this is utter injustice.
I know what his obligations were....I know what they meant to each other.....how ever they may deny, but even from the far far distance I could sense the warmth and vivacity of their friendship....and I was happy....never really I wanted to come in between

Dont know whether I have tresspassed....but what I heard......I am sorry.....if all could get on a revival mode for me...then please God.....stop the bickering... I love both...both are close to me...and I dont want them to go through the pain....

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Bohomaan


Hiseb melena
Chawa pawar jotil dhaNdha
Kokhon je chole jay,
Nijer khomotar gonditake periye---
Pore thake sei chawa gulo
Chaite thaka muhurto gulo
Ghumonto bhablesh heen moner modhye
Swopner alpona
Aleek---
Budbud_er praasaad

Paak, durbipaak, ghurnipaak
Saai saai chhute chole jibon
Aar kokhono kokhono morer mathay
Bhese othe ojana chena chena mukh...
Odekha
Tobu jeno sohosro kaal periye
Kono ek maya sutoy badha ghuri

Swopno dekhe mon
Aar tar por jontrona
Suto chhire ghurte thaka
Golok dhaNdhar yatra

Hiseb melena
Chawa pawar jotil dhaNdha......

Monday, March 9, 2009

Was That A Dream ??? ...


Yesterday was not really a worth mentioning one...of course leaving the incident of my losing a loving sir.....But then there was a tremor that shook me completely.....Never I felt so dazed as yesterday night. I don't know what was that...a dream?....a dream coming true?....another step for another failure?...... Am I thinking too much?...reading too much into an otherwise simple fact?....but was that simple?...can it be?...it was after exact 4 months....and at a time when I had driven myself out of the clutches of some painfully pleasurable memories......I made myself strong enough to let that incident forgo....but all of a sudden everything is just jeopardized.

I feel it too boring to elaborate the incident.....it was shocking, leaving me utter shattered with the sudden break of a friendship. How I waited.....the phone will ring, an sms will atleast enter my tiny cell phone.....some miracle would happen.....there was a situation when I had to face that person and only I know how thousands of butterflies flew in my stomach.....but Nothing happened really...
Days went away.....I got more and more busy in my day-to-day schedule....and I almost gave the habit of hoping that one day things will be as before.....

And how miraculously.......while I was wondering just the other day that how time really heals each and every wound.....I don't know...but my friend called me !!!!!

We talked as if there had been no tussle....this span of painful distancing was completely obliterated....I could not but wonder and wonder....how easy it was to chat...to communicate!!!!

How easy it is to believe that a huge barrier exists.....how difficult it is to take the first step....but if taken it is even more easier to to believe that there had never been any wall at all....
hope this time all remains fine...though I'm not sure whether I'm reading too much into this....
God knows

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Our Rector Sir is No More ... May His Soul Rest In Peace


We lost our Rector sir. The man behind the huge success of one of the best known schools of Kolkata. The man who built Nava Nalanda High school so that one day people like us can bask in the glory of being once associated with the name of this school. We are proud Nava-Nalandans....thank you sir for letting us this pleasure.
But the sad news came today morning....Mr. Arya Mitra left for heavenly abode. He was suffering from throat cancer for a long time...but was quite active. Infact he took his classes on Friday even. Today early morning he suffered a massive heart attack...that proved fatal. The moment I got the news, the whole canvas of my school days laid bare infront of my eyes. Associated with that, the always beaming face of our beloved rector sir. Sir we will miss you. Nava Nalanda will miss you. A huge procession of teachers, stuffs, students, and ex students took his body to the crematorium ground where his last rites were performed. He has left behind his wife , our beloved rector aunty, his son and daughter. And of course the name Nava Nalanda.....the institution and all who are glorified in the name of the same.
I remember those days...during school I participated in almost every cultural activities. He would be present through the whole rehearsal days, watching and guiding us. His ailing health never hindered him to be a part of every minute activities of the school. He is the Founder father of the school but never he made anyone feel this....so amiable he was. Even I remember him tying the knot of the shoe of a tiny student of nursery classes. He was so friendly, so approachable. Never we felt any sense of air in him........
He had a vision and he started the school. 42 years have strolled down the Southern Avenue...he has seen his Nava Nalanda grow into a huge success, a school whom Mother Teresa once fondly said..."a small school with a huge heart".....the love that he got from the students, the recognition that NN got during his time, the success stories that the institution scripted....all became possible due to this visionary man. Its an irreparable loss for every one.
He was a scholar in history, with his notes, lectures how easily he would make the mysterious history come alive in front of our eyes.....it was he and his inspiration that would ever guide us, who are blessed to be once a student of this great personality strive through any ups and downs of the life. Days will pass sir....we will remember you...in every success that we would rejoice, in every failure that we will try to overcome.....you taught us how to see a life, how to love a person. how to aspire and toil for success, how to respect, how to grow up as a good human being....sir you gave us a vision. We salute you, we love you, will miss you.
Sir is no more.....its so painful to accept...but as you said sir....truth may be cruel....but truth will triumph..... Nava Nalanda will win every battle, Nava Nalandans will win every war.....its a promise and we are confident because we a emboldened with the vision that you gave

MAY HIS SOUL REST IN PEACE

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Choosing slumdog for today....

HMMM...as I said on the very inception.....I would rather find blogging somewhat avoidable after a few days.....and I suppose that time has ultimately arrived...
Lolzzz...not to take seriously
actually I do go through some sort of bankruptcy at times and get totally confused about what to write....still thinking what to say....friends?....love?.....parents?....my self?....study?
hohohoho....believe me the last one probably I will never discuss....my mom says....every thing goes fine with me save study...

Well lots of meaning less chats 'n' all. I would rather feel comfortable to make a mesh of various things that are coming to me at the moment....
Slumdog won Oscars....Sri Lankan players attacked in Lahore....India gearing up finally for the perliamentary polls....possibly no connections ...but Im busy thinking (Suppose you all know that I have this extraordinary bad habit of thinking when I have nothing else to do)...
So then Slumdog getting Oscars?
"selling India's poverty and earning millions"----so many are of this opinion
Ofcouse come on India is no way only Dharavi.....shopping malls, multiplexes,6-digit pay cheques...all are now a part of "BHARAT NIRMAN" ( giggle giggle)...Dharavi is still there as a huge, burning dot on the face of "SHINING INDIA" (giggle again)......
Yes Dharavi continues to be the largest slum in Asia....and its a story of the inhuman, unspeakable life that these slum dwellers....The children there, their childhood completely devoid of basic education, proper nutrition, sanity or anything that a normal human existence can demand. If India can afford there slums coexisting with the sky scrappers, then why would anyone have the problem with anyone portraying them?
Is it that the director Mr. Boyle is just a white skinned?...British?...Westerner?
well...its true, India for western perception is still a land of snake charmers and miracles where tigers roam about on the streets in broad day light.....but thats for common ley man....i suppose not for the Academy award jury???...or even if it is, the film may have some what matched their anticipation, or rather taste about how India is pictured
But is it all made up story?...
Its more than a tribute to Indian cinema....I mean i dont know how far it is an international acknowledgement of Indian film
except Rahman....the semi-God of sort of our times...and me being a blind fan of his....is over-over joyed with his winning...he is tremendous.....
Otherwise its an eye opener.....under the reeling effects of some long overthrown colonization, west is still the best for us.....so let a westerner open our eyes and let him show us hoy much of a Hoax are these SHINING-BUILDING advertisements, the govt puts up before every elections.
some day may be these slums will cease to exist and India will surely develop and only that day probably a film depicting a child suffering from dyslexia will be counted a worthy picture of India's problems.....may be....

Monday, March 2, 2009

Yet another ... Will I ever learn?

Yes....yet again i have manages to lose a friend....and definitely this time not because I was responsible.
I actually don't know whom to blame for the fiasco....but I lost ---that's the u;ultimate outcome.
Its interesting......just in the afternoon we met and had lunch together a enjoyed lot....but by evening I was out of his circle.

No,....not this time I mistook and jeopardized the identities altogether.....He was a friend....a good one.....some good moments of chatting....a day at Book fair...and that's it. I have learnt how not to make some one too close to be able to hold on and thereby invite pains.So distance....the secured, protected distance was there.
But my Question lies elsewhere.....why should I have to lose a friend just because of some bull-shit???
the objection was why we met and had lunch....and the out come?...well......really I have no answer....this is rediculous....this is absolutely crap.
I will not keep silent......everything should have a limit.......
dhusss....ar likhbo na...mood 0ff lagche....