Friday, December 18, 2009

Aamar Bhasha


Kono ekdin amar anubhutira bhasha pabe,
Kono ekdin amar bhalobasa sochchaar hobe,
Kono ekdin amar protibaad mukhor hobe,
Kono ekdin,
Aasbe sedin ...
Jedin aamar bhabna jure elo melo rasta gulo
Sobaak bismoye taakiye bolbe,
"Bhasha phutechhe"
Bolbe ... "aami banchiye rekhechhi tomar prothom uchcharon
Prithibi ke chomke diye tomar prothom konthoswor
Stobdho juddhe hoy herechho noy jitechho
Aaj bojro nirghoshe janao toar abirbhab
Janao amar bhasha ache ...
Nirob bhasha
Adi-akritrim ... ajatshatru ...

Thursday, December 17, 2009

My Dreams ... They live


Dreams cluster

Thoughts collage…

They form a fondling family in my mind.


They now rest in peace.

Scorched by the deadly sun,

Burned in the burning sand,

Betrayed by the killing storm,

They now rest in peace.


They have flapped their limits

Thousands and thousands of times.

They stirred,

They failed.

They resurged,

They prevailed…

Now after a toilsome ordeal

They rest in peace.


Do you know my dreams?

Look up anywhere

You find them.

Look into yourself,

You know them.

Those unplugged dreams of mine.


They live through pains

They suffer pains through living.

They embrace malice…

They tarnish them into gold.


My unplugged dreams,

They live through the pains.

They germinate

New soul in the New Horizon.


MY unplugged dreams…

They live through battles,

They strive through struggle,

They thrive through storms.


Now they rest in peace.

You find them dead.

Yes they die…

Only to rise like phoenix.

They only live.

My dreams---they still dream.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Back Again ...Lolzzz


yeah ... laughing stock at length...even what more was expected...and surely I'm not to be blamed. The very first day I took up this blog I had this idea that my love with this will dwindle in no time. Even then a 2-3 months break is ok na?....so far sighted, I'm amused at my own feat.

As to why I do'n came pr rather did not came...to tell the truth i have no idea. And to be precise that is the reason too....just like me ever confused in what's happening or going to happen and every thing gets just messed up too much for me to decipher and then I sit idle with the pen and the empty paper not knowing what to write or even better what to say and only ponder over the wretched factuality thinking if this could only be the other way round...

One thing that strikes me is.....I came here to share my idle moments, busy times...if I got nothing to write then I wasn't sitting idle ... not even keeping busy ...then what the hell was I doing???

Round and Round???....Dazed???...well that's me and I'm back again.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

BYGONE


On the paper boats floating
Swept away my childhood days...
Blown away to some obscure unknown.
The mysterious history,
School days - fun days - old days--
Friends - love - care - misunderstandings..
Sank deep down
As emotions stirred up to the brim...


An aura of nostalgia cloaks me.
I sit idle---
Pondering the past...
At a time
When 'friends', 'caring', 'sharing' have drastically changed...


When the world has broadened up
And the minds narrowed down,
Those bygone days sneaks back.
A plethora of unalloyed joy...
My golden old days...

Sunday, August 30, 2009

AaNdharbela : Darkness Defined

AaNdharbela--written by Mrs Suchitra Bhattacharya
Published in Sharodiya Ananda Bazar Patrika.


firstly kudis to Suchitra Bhattacharya for being able to pen down the most turbulent time of Bengal politics in recent times....the Singur-Nandigram massacare...though the places and the characters are all changes yet the connection can be made without any effort.

The story revolves around an elderly man, Prabhash who has an ancestral land in Ruudrapur....thing take unexpected ( or expected??) turn when a foreign business man ...some Sakura comes up with a car-plant proposal...and huge land in and aroung Rudrapur needs to be acquired. The government's turning a deaf ear, its pro-active acquisition and tourture...the present political scenario of the ctate, the sharp polarization, disillushionment of the intellectuals with the so called communists....all these come as it had actually happened.

Suchitra touched politics without being political. Nowhere she can be accused of dogmatism...well some people may find her work a bit disturbing because she by far represented the voice of common man. The characters...those characters who are not associated with political organisations.....react in the way the general people reacted.

She has tried to maintain a distance so that she may not be regarded a spokesperson of a particular political organization....the problem with this state lies in this malicious tendency...either with "us" or with "them" and thanks to the Chief Minister this split is clearer than ever. people surrounding Prabhash are divided, his son...a college lecturer...and a smart and trendy 'communist' is in favour of giving up the land...he has no sentiment for the landless farmers who earn working on their land....roblem is he is the owner and he is settled in the city with hardly any attachment to ta rural life....he fails to understand the sentiments of the farmers...but what complicates the situation is his "communism"...which claims to establish his pro-poor legacy while at heart is is nothing but an outright rightist. He lobbies for the investors...investment is necessary but not at the cost of lives of poor people...but for the people like Ayan....the city bred brand-conscious communists...what the CPM government declares is comminism....these people have known to love CPM because it breeds jobs and other earning oppurtunities in return.
The inhuman, illegal misrule of the Left Front is lablasted at.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Expanded Metro and Frustrated Politics

After the long lone wait Metro rail started rolling from Tollygunj to Garia bazar since yesterday. I had my first ride today and it was such a relief for the daily commuters like us. From Naktala (Geetanjali) to Rabindra Sarovar only in 10 minutes...gosh...the regular jostling for autos, then traffic snarl, then the pollution and the inevitable late....I am now spared of that Horror. thanks to our railway minister, Ms Mamata Banerjee. whatever the CPI(M) may say, u did it for us and thats thats the thing all will remember.
It was rather shocking, or should I spare that too, because shock is I guess no longer the term to be associated with the ruling party....to see the CHief Minister, The self-professed champion of Bengali culture and intelligentsia...blurting out venom against the actually acting minister. in Bengali there is a term "bhaat debar murod nei, keel marar gosai"( u don't have the capacity to feed but u never fall short of beating)...CPI(M) and the government it heads is following this line.
This is nothing but utter frustration, 33 years of complete non-performance......33 years of incompetence....33 years of torture, of corruption and gradual and steady down slide of the state. the party got the toughest drubbing at the recently concluded Lok Sabha polls, in the just concluded Assembly by-elections. it is frustrated to see that not only the general people leaguing behind Mamata, also the Bengali film fraternity, which he once counted as his strongest constituency, too is quing up...and not for nothing.,.....she delivers
Its 3 months she took over as the Railway Minister and she has shown how a department can be used to help the state and work for the people. the CPI(M) is now unnerved. Its can sense the plight that ts going to face in the forthcoming Assembly polls and more awaiting if Mamata goes on her develpoment drive in this way....who cares what the CPI(M) is telling?...we are helped and relieved....thanks to didi

Monday, August 10, 2009

OBLIVION....(short story)


Nizam was fast asleep. Mithi Amma fed him, some vada that she prepared early evening before the news came. Mithi Amma was sitting, wide awake, looking bluntly at the moon dim glimmering outside the window pane. Late night it was. All the proceedings took a lot of time.


***************************


Nizam never studied Quran. He learnt, he was taught that he was a Muslim. He was never even taught how it felt to be a Muslim, he never felt anything special, never couldn’t differentiate if the ‘others’ felt other way as he could never be other. It was not that he bothered though. Nizam loved Mithi Amma, grandma of his friend Santanam. He was taught that Mithi Amma, Santanam were ‘other’. They were different. Nizam often wondered, how? They all had two hands, two legs…only when they spoke he understood nothing. And yes, Mithi Amma’s husband and Santanam’s grandpa was different. He was a photo man. He never talked, never walked, never even ate. He wore mysterious glasses through which Nizam could never see. He was a photo man…always wearing a garland.

“Ammu…why is Santanam different?” often he would ask his mother.

“They are Hindus…they worship different Gods….but they are good….”

Yes…yes….he had seen. Mithi Amma worshipped Gods which were like the dolls of his cousin sister. But Santanam never plays with these dolls which Mithi Amma worshiped. Nizam also never played with them.


****************************


Nizam was only six years old. He lived in the least known Ghulab Chowk in Ahmedabad. It was one of those dingy over crowded residential places in the town. The market place was not far. Ghulab Chowk never required descriptions. Almost every town in India has places like it. It saw the two communities residing side by side. It never created any problem, except some small incidents during the riots. Yet then Ghulab Chowk never hit the head lines. Neither the Muslims nor the Hindus were brutal enough, perhaps.

Nizam was a resident of Ghulab Chowk ever since he was born. His father too. Might be his grandpa, whom he has never seen, too. Nizam did not know. Nizam was happy in the small world of his own, with the dreams he dreamt but never understood, with the friends who were either similar or different, but he never bothered. Nizam attended the nearby English medium school. It was necessary, his Abbajan said. Santanam went there too.

Arzan, Nizam’s Abbajan, was a self made man of sort. Education was never a favorite occupation with the youth of his community in the locality. Arzan and many like him in the locality were made to believe that they were a special community and they have the right to special privileges. What privileges nobody ever asked. Never did any privilege come. And yes they were to vote, that was essential for the continual flow of privileges. But Arzan thought more. Blessed probably he was that he went to a bigger school and befriended people from better families.

Arzan studied. When the similar friends dropped out to join their fathers as daily labors or set sail across the Arabian Sea, Arzan continued to study. He studied hard and ended up securing a good job. His academic record has always been brilliant. Along with the education he brought the air of liberty otherwise denied to the residents on the both sides. He was an MBA, worked for a reputed multi-national company. The pay cheque was phenomenal, at least in comparison to the other ‘similars’ in the locality. After all the daily wages and Arzan’s pay package could hardly meet.

Like any other upwardly mobile Indian, Arzan gave his family a taste of Good-Shining India. A car for occasional family outings, a revamped and redecorated house, and week-end shopping mall vistas--- these became a part of their life…a far cry for most of the people belonging to his community in the locality. Gradually the lines separating him from his ‘other’ friends became blurred. It never mattered for him. Though he even had thought of injecting the idea in his son after the Godhra carnage and aftermath, still he never felt the binaries to be too strong as to hinder him from making good friends. Arzan met Salima at the office, a brief courtship followed. Salima’s family objected to her love marriage and Arzan’s family to a working wife. But all evaporated with time--- Salima and Arzan were happy together---- working together, spending together. A new lease of freshness, a new outlook crawled in. By the time Nizam was born all animosities died down. Though Arzan’s father Amanulla Sahib could not live to see his grandson, Nizam got the company of his grandma Rabeya’s when toddler. Mithi Amma too was there, but her company became more prominent and to some extent necessary too, after Rabeya ceased to live. The working parents were relieved of their tension and Nizam was also happy getting to spend more time with Santanam. Days passed so good….who could have even thought of this?


************************


When Mithi Amma moved into Ahmedabad, she was already widowed. She was brought here by her son Karthikeyan and daughter-in-law Revathi. Earlier Karthikeyan had a small business in Madurai. A certain advertisement in a news paper struck his eyes. He applied for it, and got into a diamond factory here. His business had already hit the rough patches. So this was a smooth way out for him. His only sister was already married off to a rich farmer of a nearby town. Therefore Karthikeyan had no problem in shifting to Gujarat.

But after moving in, he had to face huge difficulties. There were no Tamil families nearby. A sense of alienation crept in. Mithi Amma and Revathi thought of some domestic business. But could not because of the linguistic hindrances--- culture, language--- nothing matched. Nobody even bothered. In the midst of all these, one day Revathi met Salima at the nearest stationary shop. Salima’s demeanor and warmth took no time to endear the ‘outsider’ and Revathi and her family took no time to shed their well-caressed orthodoxy about the ‘others’. Salima taught them Gujarati, Revathi showed them South Indian cuisines. The two families spent time together on various occasions. Revathi started a handloom shop mixing Gujarati and Tamil crafts and patterns, Salima stood behind her as a rock solid support. Things went on so smoothly---- Navratris, Makar Sankranti, Id….both the families enjoyed together. Then Santanam was born, followed by Nizam. Though both were made aware of the other ones ‘otherness’, it was never stringent. It is so, in India religion becomes an indispensable luggage to carry through out the life for an individual. Religion is a must; so as to say the primary identity of an Indian….even a ‘liberated’ family needs to carry it, whether to be a bigot or not was individual choice, in many cases though. These two kids, though made aware, their awareness never clogged the way of mutual respect and warmth. Even the Godhra riots could not embitter their relation. Actually Ghulab Chowk remained relatively calm--- except for some stray incidents. But as it happens… …life is jeopardized just then, when it seems all are going perfectly all right.


***********************************


It was week end.

---“Reva, I’ll be going to the Dazzling Shopping Mall…today evening…will you come?”

---“Oh…sure…I would love to…Navratri approaching, even our Ramzan…need to buy some stuffs…”

---“That’s great…be ready, ok? 5 pm? Or should we make it a bit more lately? I’ll call you…”

---“5 pm is ok. I’ll be ready…will you be taking Santanam? Won’t take Nizam…he has got fever…”

---“Oh God… how’s he now? Consulted the doctor? Mmmmmm…..why don’t you keep him with Amma? She will take care of him…and yes…ask Arzan bhaiya to reach there after office…will have dinner together please…”

----“Hahahaha…ok baba…I’ll tell him…Karthik bhaiya will be there too, no? Well we can bring some for Amma…”

----“Sure…don’t be late ok? 5 pm sharp…”

“Sure...”

It was about 7 pm. Nizam was watching cartoon at Mithi Amma’s place. Amma was busy with the customers at the handloom, adjacent to their living room. Suddenly a commotion rose…then some murmurs…then cries….then shrieks…..Nizam turned pale….the world seemed spinning in front of Mithi Amma…she quickly shuffled through the channels till she stopped at a news channel….the breaking news read

“The consecutive blasts at the Dazzling Shopping Mall…over 300 feared dead…” the screen showed only blood…the disheveled bodies…people running mad….crying….extremist Islamic group suspected…compensation….blood…blast……

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Bratyajaner Ruddhasangeet


Thursday I was opportune enough to watch Bratyajaner Ruddhasangeet at Kalamandir. Bratya Basu had made quite a name with his political production earlier, Winkle Twinkle. So the drama coming from this man, based on legendary Rabindrasangeet singer Debabrata Biswas, rode the hype from the very beginning. To be frank, Bratya did justice to his reputation--slips and some weakness are there still though, I think. What I feel about Ruddhasangeet is Debabrata Biswas here is a ploy---his life well delineated though---yet the character plays a number of shades. While at one hand, Bratya tries to capture the present in the trope of history, on the other, efforts to institutionalize Rabindranaath Tagore and his songs and the inhuman, demonic intrusion if the "institution", that never allowed anyone to surpass it and mount the steps of popularity, is severely lashed out at. In the drama, as history invades, past is relived, present becomes more vivid.

Bratya's present political activities quite places himself with a clear camp---thanks to the ruling front and its leader the divided 'campified' Bengali existence is very much to the fore. Basu tried to capture the dilemma that rocked the communist party in the time of its inception and cites the 'disillusionment' of the Bengali intelligentsia with the Communists or rather the 'party'. But as I said earlier, history played a trap at the hands of Bratya who I felt tried to bring up recent topical allusions time and again through the play. At a time when the 'communist' party is reeling under one of its worst debacles and rough times, the personality cult, the imbecile eulozisation of some foreign communist leaders who does not have even obscure relation with Indian society and polity whatsoever, the party shielding the leaders and the foul cry of plotting against all who try to defy or question 'party-line'...all these are not new....its the 'tradition'...as Bratya tried to make it out, I felt. So Bratya can easily put dialogues like, "can you assure that when your party comes to power it will not fire on the poor farmers?"( Nandigram, said anyone?) "Its better to be Maobadi than a Kamaobadi"( '70s had Naxal menace but Maoist allusion definitely establishes it in present mileau.) on Debabrata Biswas, or even his Rittwik can challenge Pramod Dasgupta of shielding the favourite leaders in the name of some far flung leaders of Europe or Latin America when they fail in direct confrontation falling short of proper argument. Nothing new, it was and it is the same and Bratya pointed out the fact quite deftly. And sure kudos for the man who can directly chalk out Jyoti Basu ( the semi-god in Indian Communism scenario), Pramod Dasgupta or Suchitra Mitra and present them directly on the stage...... and to be remembered however less the path may be followed still the state is ruled by leftists.....lolzzzz

True some elaborations could have made things more logical...but did Bratya sit for logically testifying things?.....on one hand he had to frame the life of a legend who was severely wronged and on the other he had to use the same as a trope to shoot his political views and if he chooses his events accordingly he does so in every right of his that he enjoys as a creator. Did he mislead?...if yes, suit him.....if not, take the art for art's sake......a conditioned mind probably hinder the appreciation of the drama....and it is outright political. Bratya did not have any liability to please all the political groups.

The use of the stage was Intelligent....Brechtian inclination was palpable enough. But regarding the characters....Debshankar Halder was superb in the role of Debabrata Biswas, in his moymansing dialect he simply went on winning the hearts and though out the lenght of the play he simple proved his credentials. But Salil or Rittwik's characters were rather poor in ther etching out. Salil was a bit loud and Rittwik appeared Shakespearean fool.

On a whole job done really well....though....it may leave a number of political questions unanswered, or rather Bratya omitted some...but as I said he probably had no intention to please one particular colour. And when the wind of change in undoubtedly sweeping this part of the world, a dramatist can not probably risk his production....lolzzz

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Hoy Naki ?...


Ami jedin BaNchte cheyechhilam
Tomra bolechile--
"Dhurr...e abar hoy naki?"
Kebol upohaas
Ami praan bhore nihshwas nite cheyechhi
Kintu spondonheen nishchol praan...
Du'chokh bhore dekhte cheyechhi,
Nithor nishpolok drishti te
Du'haat diye chhute cheyechhi---
Hemsheetal joragrosthota amake graas koreche...
BaaNchar neshay buNd hoye
Gumre gumre shesh hoyechhi..
Onek poth periyeo
DaaNriye sei eki bindutei...
Aaj ektu chhuti chailam
Nihshwas thomke jabe
Du'chokh buje...dhora chhoyar gondi periye
Ushnotar ojana taane
Aaj chhuti chaai...
Tomra bolcho,
"Dhurr...tai abar hoy naki?" ...

Sunday, August 2, 2009

White Tiger in Grey Backyard


Finished The White Tiger....Arvind Adiga is stupendous in delineating the reality of Indian polity. The White Tiger is well written...though it appeared to me to be too conscious to satisfy the western appetite. The Man Booker award did not come out of blue...definitely well depicted...Indian can surely 'boast' being rated among the best known corrupted nations of the world...but is that to this extent?

what I feel....Adiga aimed at capturing the pitch-black darkness that continues to exist under the much camoufalged Shining India...croes and crores are spent to advertise India's steady march into the power circle of global politics though at the centre the poor citizens suffers the painful plight inflicted upon them...and remain quite oblivious of the fact...and thats probably the reason when Balram Halwai breaks free, though savage and utter immoral his way is....it lands a real hard punch to digest...

Adiga surely knows to employ words so as to capture our imagination just the way it ought to be. The novel, if form is considered, is a kind of reinventing a long drawn practice. As Joseph Conrad deployed the travelogue method to probe into human psyche, to bring out man's sojourn into his inner self in 'The Heart of Darkness', as James Joyce used bildungsroman form to depict an artist's psychological growth in his 'The Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man,' Adiga deftly used the epistolary form. But a 21st century novel probably realistically discarded the 'letter-novel' form only to re-invent it in 'email-novel' form. Balram Halwai sends emails to the Chinese Premier unfolding his rise to success that in its due course lamblasts the corrupted hypocrite Indian social institutions and politics-- the sarcasm in the tone his hardly missed.

The story is of a boy from the 'Darkness' (the caste-religious fraction ridden villages in Bihar-Jharkhand), Balram Halwai...his struggle to come to terms with the extreme humiliation he faces at the hands of the upper castes, how he manages an escapade to Delhi as a driver, and how he is gradually engulfed by illegal and immoral activities...and how he finally ascends a position of his own and settles in Bangalore. Now he has money and even after a murder he is declared missing by the police...Balram now can bribe police, same police who made him sign a forced confession of a murder which actually was committed by his master's wife once. The sarcasm is evident when he joined the landlords house as a driver...the rich landlord funds the political party of one big 'socialist'...the landlords bribe the ministers of the cabinet headed by the 'socialist' to evade income tax raids. The socialist empties his lung power to prove himself the messiah of the Darkness...but when it comes to polling, Balram and his likes knows that they are not entitled to vote...because the socialist's men will take care of that....then with Ashok, the landlord's younger son moving to Delhi, Balram leaves for the big city ...that ultimately ruins him though giving him enough wisdom...he committed crime, he murdered Ashok to grab his money.....to establish an identity of his own...tired he was of the inhuman oppression ... he chose to betray the society to see his dream come true...had he made himself to stick to the societal norms...he would have ended up working for others as drivers the whole of his life....Adiga touches this very grey zone of man's life...the White tiger, with his dark mind scape...delving deeper into this blurred existence of human beings....where immorality is palpable but can never be altogether condemned....intriguing questions goes on arising...

The White Tiger is dark, very dark,....very savage....utterly fascinating and mesmerizing....

Friday, July 10, 2009

Legalizing LGBT...A Real Positive Step Towards Social Justice

Disclaimer :- I DON'T BELONG TO "LGBT" COMMUNITY

then.....its shameful to have this disclaimer when I'm profess myself to be sympathizer for their cause....I still carry the stigma lest I'm identified with them to.....well I have to use "they" too.....


Things will definitely change I guess with the Delhi High court declaring same-sex physical attraction not a crime any more...a long battle of 8-9 years partly won I would say.
Thing are never that easy.
Actually...to say the truth I was tremendously apathetic towards gays and lesbians...even a thought would give me a revulsion. But, as always a thing I detest happens with me.....I had to study a lot about them while helping a teacher of mine in his project. In due course, though I should not claim a complete, but obviously I have come to understand a bit of their problems....what a troubled life and alienated existence they have to face...everyday, every moment, inside the family or outside of it. Its killing.
I feel like citing a few of my experiences.....err.....interviews to be STRAIGHT.......as I said...I met a number of people from the community and their stories were related while preparing the project.

Joy ( name changed) hails from Rashbehari.....in his mid-30s....works at an MNC....sector 5. I met him via net...Orkut....met him over coffee at the nearest junction and had a good chat...he is a closeted gay......he has his father and the society to fight...and he is completely okay with his orientation...though can never even think of coming out open with it as that may sound the knell for him....the society, parents, family....poor guy....he needs a place even to exist....even if that comes with crunching a bit of his space.

Dr. Mukherjee ( name I will not mention )....an eye specialist, associated with some of the few leading Hospitals across Kolkata....from Behala Chowrasta.....he invited me to his home....a married guy with such cute baby boy......we had a bit conversation.....atmosphere was not conducive....even then what I could get from him....he was regular into gay sex with various others like him.....he has a flat somewhere in Kolkata and that serves his purpose.....
"aren't you cheating....your wife and your son...????" I asked...
"wasn't I cheated?" pat came the reply......I was simple dumbstruck.....if he was allowed to go on his way situations like this could have been avoided.....I didn't have the guts to ask about the 'normalcy' of his marital conjugal life....hope all's well.....but then......who has benefited after all?

Almost similar were the cases with the lesbians....I came across a girl.....preparing for her 12th standard....in a reputed girls school in South Kolkata.......she openly professes her love for her class mate....the school has complained a number of times to the families of both the girls...but they stand firm....even the families seemed coming to terms...though I really could not fathom the amount of social harassment and taunts the whole family would have to go through.

What I feel is...this new law will at least give these helpless people to have a shield...though coming out open will definitely take a long time....yet somewhere the starting point has to be.....and this historical decision can definitely be hailed so.
The problems that I thought exists.....as they a criminalized....the relation only tends to draw towards physical encounter....emotional space is deliberately left out......they for quite understandable reasons don't bother to get into commitment...knowing very well that the relation will be doomed in no time.
Poor these people.....firstly...who has even conceptualized the "others" as straight or normal I don't know...as these people whom I met were neither abnormal or crooked.....and they surely have the right to profess their love as we do have the same for our girlfriends...I mean.....who can know what nature had in mind?....when the same has created both?.....the heteros have no right I think to label them in any way just to give their own positions a social stability....what if they turn out to be majority?.....
great applause for Delhi HC....at least it has showed the guts to run down the veil of hypocrisy that the Indian culture wears in the name of purity.....my heartiest congratulations.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Not getting Time at all


These days I'm keeping unusually busy. So get too little time to be with my one time companion my PC that is...hahaha......to be true, i have started feeling estrangement with the internet and socializing via net....and all those stuffs.
Orkut used to eat up the lion's share of my time earlier......to tell the truth, last 2-3 days i hardly spent 2 hours at Orkut, taken together.
First I'm horribly and terribly busy. Taking coaching for the competitive exams....well I need to sit and write those exams or else will have to go around jobless cursing the wretched world of injustice....so before i have to do that I have decided to try and land up a job...lolzzzz
Secondly.......what I think I said earlier.... these days I feel too bored with Orkut.....well never to be mistaken that I'm getting wary of friends...that's utter impossible...a person like me....I'll go on mistaking one after another, but getting myself disposed of my friend is something that i cannot even think in my wildest dreams. It is actually some developments that have taken place over the last few days.....firstly to tell the truth....same conversations and same people sometimes get on to nerves.....it happens...."how are u?...what's up?...me doing fine....blah blah"....this continues with each and every one coming online and this conversation is followed by a long stretch of uninterrupted silence till another one pops up to blabber the same stupid talks.
Added to this is politics.....Community politics...I mean I find this online community politics utter bull shit......I mean what one can achieve?...a bit attention I guess?...these crazy bunch...lolzzz....never will they dive into actual politics, which really do need them....I am quite contented with my political life...and really do not need the same in Orkut....rather on the contrary I have my profile there to have a break from the mundane and at times killing politics I have to face daily....so NO POLITICS IN ORKUT.......unless thigs get sorted out...I'm not going back.....to put it straight......not like the way I used to be...
As for blogging...I'm really too hard pressed for time to make some time out and jot some lines here...really...I get so tired when I come back.....sitting and typing seems redundant....

Thursday, June 18, 2009

This Much For This Time


Stretch your hands
You Get Mine.
Assurance, this much
For this time.

There are more--
Like dried dusted leaves,
Crackling
Clustering in my grip...

Loose my grasp, will I not.
It will blow away,
Strew all over
My dusted crackled assurances

You may find me
Through some other looking glass.
You may think me lying.

So
Assurance this much--
For this time.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Back After so Many Days ...


Yessssssssssssss.......after so many days of hibernation (guess that's bit too much given the weather these days lolzz)..i am finally back....though again not sure whether this one will be with a bang... and yes....this time its was not something like the bugging "reality" that kept me aloof....its was just my exams....those wretched time each one has to go through for handsome part of their life.....and given the extraordinary studious person I am i had to take this break in order to prepare myself for the show....otherwise it would have been "given or not given all the same" kind of a showing.

So many things happened in between and how I missed the chance to share my views.....yes change have come in West Bengal and the Marxists hav
e been booted out and Bengal have come out for a prolonged curse... Aila has ravaged the states rendering thousands homeless and so many dead....Kolkata saw worst possible crisis in recent terms with power cuts in some places over 60 hours at a stretch and our honorable Mayor opined that they are now experienced...an Aila next month would be better delt with, truly even one feels ashamed to be angry with this man...lolzzz

but the greatest ever change may be I'm now free...from all those routine bound studies and all...well feelin lazy......will be back soon

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Lend a Healing Touch



Situations often becomes killing. These days I am going through the extremely disgusting phase....nothing seems alright....nothing falling in to place. Not that I am suffering...but somehow am not feeling good.....remaining disturbed
How long can a thing stretch as to make a hell out of living? I simply eradicated everything out of my space and was well contended in my own way. I yearned....for a revival...for some what a re connection to take place...and when that has happened I have lost peace completely again
Enough of it.
I never wanted to be anywhere between anyone. Never I aspired to be there anywhere around them. Never....I swear. I know what I did.....How happy I was to think that a streak of light has come and all will be same. But after today's meeting...I am completely disgruntled. I never wanted this to happen....they are best of friends.....when things seem to get okay with me, they cannot part.......this is utter injustice.
I know what his obligations were....I know what they meant to each other.....how ever they may deny, but even from the far far distance I could sense the warmth and vivacity of their friendship....and I was happy....never really I wanted to come in between

Dont know whether I have tresspassed....but what I heard......I am sorry.....if all could get on a revival mode for me...then please God.....stop the bickering... I love both...both are close to me...and I dont want them to go through the pain....

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Bohomaan


Hiseb melena
Chawa pawar jotil dhaNdha
Kokhon je chole jay,
Nijer khomotar gonditake periye---
Pore thake sei chawa gulo
Chaite thaka muhurto gulo
Ghumonto bhablesh heen moner modhye
Swopner alpona
Aleek---
Budbud_er praasaad

Paak, durbipaak, ghurnipaak
Saai saai chhute chole jibon
Aar kokhono kokhono morer mathay
Bhese othe ojana chena chena mukh...
Odekha
Tobu jeno sohosro kaal periye
Kono ek maya sutoy badha ghuri

Swopno dekhe mon
Aar tar por jontrona
Suto chhire ghurte thaka
Golok dhaNdhar yatra

Hiseb melena
Chawa pawar jotil dhaNdha......

Monday, March 9, 2009

Was That A Dream ??? ...


Yesterday was not really a worth mentioning one...of course leaving the incident of my losing a loving sir.....But then there was a tremor that shook me completely.....Never I felt so dazed as yesterday night. I don't know what was that...a dream?....a dream coming true?....another step for another failure?...... Am I thinking too much?...reading too much into an otherwise simple fact?....but was that simple?...can it be?...it was after exact 4 months....and at a time when I had driven myself out of the clutches of some painfully pleasurable memories......I made myself strong enough to let that incident forgo....but all of a sudden everything is just jeopardized.

I feel it too boring to elaborate the incident.....it was shocking, leaving me utter shattered with the sudden break of a friendship. How I waited.....the phone will ring, an sms will atleast enter my tiny cell phone.....some miracle would happen.....there was a situation when I had to face that person and only I know how thousands of butterflies flew in my stomach.....but Nothing happened really...
Days went away.....I got more and more busy in my day-to-day schedule....and I almost gave the habit of hoping that one day things will be as before.....

And how miraculously.......while I was wondering just the other day that how time really heals each and every wound.....I don't know...but my friend called me !!!!!

We talked as if there had been no tussle....this span of painful distancing was completely obliterated....I could not but wonder and wonder....how easy it was to chat...to communicate!!!!

How easy it is to believe that a huge barrier exists.....how difficult it is to take the first step....but if taken it is even more easier to to believe that there had never been any wall at all....
hope this time all remains fine...though I'm not sure whether I'm reading too much into this....
God knows

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Our Rector Sir is No More ... May His Soul Rest In Peace


We lost our Rector sir. The man behind the huge success of one of the best known schools of Kolkata. The man who built Nava Nalanda High school so that one day people like us can bask in the glory of being once associated with the name of this school. We are proud Nava-Nalandans....thank you sir for letting us this pleasure.
But the sad news came today morning....Mr. Arya Mitra left for heavenly abode. He was suffering from throat cancer for a long time...but was quite active. Infact he took his classes on Friday even. Today early morning he suffered a massive heart attack...that proved fatal. The moment I got the news, the whole canvas of my school days laid bare infront of my eyes. Associated with that, the always beaming face of our beloved rector sir. Sir we will miss you. Nava Nalanda will miss you. A huge procession of teachers, stuffs, students, and ex students took his body to the crematorium ground where his last rites were performed. He has left behind his wife , our beloved rector aunty, his son and daughter. And of course the name Nava Nalanda.....the institution and all who are glorified in the name of the same.
I remember those days...during school I participated in almost every cultural activities. He would be present through the whole rehearsal days, watching and guiding us. His ailing health never hindered him to be a part of every minute activities of the school. He is the Founder father of the school but never he made anyone feel this....so amiable he was. Even I remember him tying the knot of the shoe of a tiny student of nursery classes. He was so friendly, so approachable. Never we felt any sense of air in him........
He had a vision and he started the school. 42 years have strolled down the Southern Avenue...he has seen his Nava Nalanda grow into a huge success, a school whom Mother Teresa once fondly said..."a small school with a huge heart".....the love that he got from the students, the recognition that NN got during his time, the success stories that the institution scripted....all became possible due to this visionary man. Its an irreparable loss for every one.
He was a scholar in history, with his notes, lectures how easily he would make the mysterious history come alive in front of our eyes.....it was he and his inspiration that would ever guide us, who are blessed to be once a student of this great personality strive through any ups and downs of the life. Days will pass sir....we will remember you...in every success that we would rejoice, in every failure that we will try to overcome.....you taught us how to see a life, how to love a person. how to aspire and toil for success, how to respect, how to grow up as a good human being....sir you gave us a vision. We salute you, we love you, will miss you.
Sir is no more.....its so painful to accept...but as you said sir....truth may be cruel....but truth will triumph..... Nava Nalanda will win every battle, Nava Nalandans will win every war.....its a promise and we are confident because we a emboldened with the vision that you gave

MAY HIS SOUL REST IN PEACE

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Choosing slumdog for today....

HMMM...as I said on the very inception.....I would rather find blogging somewhat avoidable after a few days.....and I suppose that time has ultimately arrived...
Lolzzz...not to take seriously
actually I do go through some sort of bankruptcy at times and get totally confused about what to write....still thinking what to say....friends?....love?.....parents?....my self?....study?
hohohoho....believe me the last one probably I will never discuss....my mom says....every thing goes fine with me save study...

Well lots of meaning less chats 'n' all. I would rather feel comfortable to make a mesh of various things that are coming to me at the moment....
Slumdog won Oscars....Sri Lankan players attacked in Lahore....India gearing up finally for the perliamentary polls....possibly no connections ...but Im busy thinking (Suppose you all know that I have this extraordinary bad habit of thinking when I have nothing else to do)...
So then Slumdog getting Oscars?
"selling India's poverty and earning millions"----so many are of this opinion
Ofcouse come on India is no way only Dharavi.....shopping malls, multiplexes,6-digit pay cheques...all are now a part of "BHARAT NIRMAN" ( giggle giggle)...Dharavi is still there as a huge, burning dot on the face of "SHINING INDIA" (giggle again)......
Yes Dharavi continues to be the largest slum in Asia....and its a story of the inhuman, unspeakable life that these slum dwellers....The children there, their childhood completely devoid of basic education, proper nutrition, sanity or anything that a normal human existence can demand. If India can afford there slums coexisting with the sky scrappers, then why would anyone have the problem with anyone portraying them?
Is it that the director Mr. Boyle is just a white skinned?...British?...Westerner?
well...its true, India for western perception is still a land of snake charmers and miracles where tigers roam about on the streets in broad day light.....but thats for common ley man....i suppose not for the Academy award jury???...or even if it is, the film may have some what matched their anticipation, or rather taste about how India is pictured
But is it all made up story?...
Its more than a tribute to Indian cinema....I mean i dont know how far it is an international acknowledgement of Indian film
except Rahman....the semi-God of sort of our times...and me being a blind fan of his....is over-over joyed with his winning...he is tremendous.....
Otherwise its an eye opener.....under the reeling effects of some long overthrown colonization, west is still the best for us.....so let a westerner open our eyes and let him show us hoy much of a Hoax are these SHINING-BUILDING advertisements, the govt puts up before every elections.
some day may be these slums will cease to exist and India will surely develop and only that day probably a film depicting a child suffering from dyslexia will be counted a worthy picture of India's problems.....may be....