The Sea ... tranquility and a discovery

Dynamics change drastically in a relationship. What was yesterday something like one unfathomably deep friendship, today stands as a mere shadow of that past! The question is not who is to blame! Of course its the time which unveils one by one the innate manoevours  of the human psyche and that leads to the (un)glorious present. One tiny channel may sometime shoot itself up and that entails the trouble. Its not that i no longer enjoy the company. Not that i dislike them, i rather love them still. The problems are those tiny ugly patches where i am either a misfit or isolated. A joke sometimes fails to establish itself as so. Sometimes overuse deems that as truth and all involved start behaving accordingly. If it is always about me being in the unwanted spot of some friendship it definitely hurts. I was and still AM a very integral part of the group endeavours, just that i am no longer a part of the process. I am needed still to live up to the notion of friendship. I am no longer necessary to live through it. I am the necessary OTHER that defines the mainstream, that enables the upper skin to glow as united entity. But underneath we all feel the rift, dont we?? The joke has done us apart and it seems too huge to be bridged!

I hardly felt in place in the trip. I don't know why or what but something just hold me back the entire time and i hardly enjoyed myself. I could never participate!